With our complete lack of experience and lukewarm confidence we felt good about our prospects of an adventurous weekend or at least one that we would remember for some time. We were a bit unsure as to what side of that coin we would fall on, but we were optimistic nonetheless. As everyone knows there are good adventures and bad (at least at the time) adventures. Each will result in a burned in, and sometimes traumatic, memory. We had pretty much made our peace with that prospect and were ready to take whatever was thrown at us.

After an unnervingly short and nonchalant conversation with our rental agent we loaded up our thirty foot recreational vehicle and pointed North in search of the holy grail, Deep Woods. We were all quite excited that we happened to hit the road around five in the afternoon and happened to be departing the city, along with the rest of the population, heading up North for a weekend of camping. Let me tell you, there's nothing quite like cruising down a five-lane freeway in rush hour in a thirty-foot RV which is at least twice as big as any vehicle you've ever driven. I can only speculate at the enjoyment from my experience of being a passenger for this leg of the journey. After some white knuckle iPod DJ-ing I was glad once we finally hit the open road. A quick stop for some ice (you know...to chill the milk) and we pushed on towards camp one.

"It's actually a horse riding campground, but it is supposed to be available for anyone this time of year," said our navigation technician.

"It's actually a horse riding campground, but it is supposed to be available for anyone this time of year," said our navigation technician. That is exactly what you want to hear right after you drive by small militia taking target practice.

 

To our surprise, map technician company excluded, it looked like a wonderful place for an evening rest. We needed all of our strength and wit to locate the elusive Deep Woods the following day and we all agreed this equestrian camp would suffice.

The order of operations for setting up a campsite is fairly well-known, but I'll run you through our process. With the RV parked (only took three of us), we start a fire. But everyone knows this is not possible without a beer in your hand, so the first beers were poured and everyone felt just a little bit better. Now, even though this was considered a primitive campground there was supposed to be a host that would sell us wood. This was good. We hadn't thought to purchase any back in civilization so we were in need. As luck would have it, the host campers were no where to be found. This was bad. Any experienced camper knows, no wood equals no fire. What to do?

Luckily our junior equipment operator spotted a pile of cut wood at one of the empty sites as we were driving to our spot. We decided the best thing to do would be to borrow a few logs for our fire. After all, no one was there and we really didn't want to resort to stripping the picnic table for fuel. Yes, when RV camping a fire is that important. Thankfully our junior equipment operator is also a skilled arborist so we had an abundance of wood for burning long into the night. Crisis averted.

With the fire situation under control it was time for some grub. Brats were the headlining menu item at campsite one. Accompanying were the usual suspects. With full stomachs we commenced the evening activity of staring at the fire pondering life's biggest questions. If you're wondering, we did come up with a lot of answers, but the secretary forgot his notebook so nothing got written down and thus lost forever.

The last member of our party was set to arrive late that evening, but with no connection to the outside world he was on his own to locate camp one. We thought he could make it, but as the night wore on we began to wonder. Thankfully, he did make it, and it appeared just in the knick of time. His social lubrication levels were running dangerously low so we quickly handed him a beer and all was right with the world. Camp one, day one. Complete.

Day two began with a bit of a scramble to get everything into the RV before the rain began. After all, we were only lending our lawn furniture from Target. After a fantastic breakfast made by our head chef it was time to hit the open road.

Our navigation technician had our course plotted for the day and had high hopes of finding the Deep Woods. We were skeptical, but he had lots of maps so he obviously knew what he was doing.

"Where to?" we asked.

"Chimashagausidankaaadadalsdknanl National Forest," he said.

"Huh?" we replied.

"That way," he said confidently pointing.

So that way we went.

Soon the scenery out the window started to change. We were getting closer. You could just feel it. Right about that time, we realized we were running a little low on fuel. Time for a quick stop. We picked out most navigable gas station we could find and fueled up. Next up on the wheel, me.

The road became more and more enclosed by trees the further we headed in that direction. The road grew less and less straight. Could this be? Did we find the Deep Woods?

Our navigation technician directed me on a sketchy looking gravel road off the main highway we were traveling on. He had gotten us that far so there was no reason not to trust him. Sure enough we found our first option for campsite number two. We took a spin through the primitive site and realized we had in fact located the Deep Woods. This was good but we couldn't celebrate just yet. Now we just needed to locate THE campsite. After two trips through this campground we felt pretty good about it, but our navigator said there was a site "just down the road" that we should check out before we made our final decision. This was, after all, the most important decision of the day.

We agreed and I pulled the RV back onto the highway and we continued deeper into the Deep Woods. As you would expect I was soon directed to make a turn.

A skeptic of our navigation technician's choice of route voiced his concern about the road selected.

"It's shorter to go this way," our technician rebutted.

"It's shorter to go this way," our technician rebutted.

 

We couldn't disagree and headed down the gravel road which quickly turned into a path. Soon enough we were driving through a tunnel that meandered around and up and down through the Deep Woods. If I wouldn't have been so busy worrying about the wet road (forgot to mention it rained the night before) and overhanging branches I probably would have really enjoyed this woodland tunnel. It was quite cool I'm sure if you aren't trying to squeeze a thirty foot RV through it.

We crawled along this "road" at a turtle's pace. It just wasn't possible to go very fast. I never looked down to see what our speed was clocking in at because I was too focused on not getting stuck, but I would guess we were cruising along at a snappy ten or fifteen mile per hour. It felt like 40 miles per hour, but I'm guessing we never hit that speed.

Things were going well, stressful, but well. At the slow pace we weren't moving through the five or six miles we needed to cover very quickly, but we were progressing with no issues nonetheless. We came down our twentieth hill and around our thirty-second corner to find a downed tree blocking our path.

Turning the beast around was not an option. We hardly had enough clearance on either side of the vehicle as it was. Reversing all the way out wasn't an option either. We had come far enough that trying to back all the way out around all the corners and up and down the hills would have proved nearly impossible and would have probably taken us the rest of the day to pull off. We had to move the tree.

Luckily this wasn't a huge tree, but as we quickly discovered it was still rooted and merely tipped over the road. After some hanging and pushing and pulling we realized we needed a new strategy. I had thrown a short length of rope into a tote when I was packing. "You never know," I remember thinking. We hooked one side of the rope to the tree and the other to the bumper of our off-road vehicle. Our trip safety official questioned, "any chance that latch will break and come hurdling at and breaking the window?" We agreed that yes, there was certainly a chance, but we decided to roll the dice hoping it would work. 

Our safety official questioned, "Any chance that latch will break and come hurling at and breaking the window?"

With the rope and latch secured I kicked her into reverse and slowly pulled the tree backward hoping it would give way or break all together. But it did not. Instead the latch at the end of the rope snapped hurling the end back at the vehicle window. As predicted, it wasn't heavy enough to do any damage so our security deposit was still safe.

Our senior engineer then had a plan. He tied the rope to the tree as far to the top as he could get. We then all began pulling the tree back off the road in a loading the catapult type of situation. Once we got close enough to the side of the road he looped the rope around another tree and used that to hold the tree back off the road. I darted to the RV and threw it in drive and cruised past the obstacle. With everyone clear, the rope was released and the tree was back to blocking the road.

We no more than got past the tree and some locals showed up with a chain saw and took care of the tree. We suspected they were just sitting in the woods watching us try to figure this thing out hoping we would fail, but they didn't know how intelligent and resourceful the people they were dealing with were. Feeling proud we moved along.

The rest of the trek down this path was uneventful and we soon made it out the other end. We found the campground that was at the end of this little quest and after a quick drive through decided on the first one. You could say it was all for naught, but then I would tell you I wouldn't have had a story to tell.

We took a different route back (obviously) and set up camp and established our final claim, Campsite Number Two: Deep Woods.

After acquiring some wood from the elderly gentleman at the entrance to the campground and listening to a quick story about how he once accidentally found himself petting a bear, we settled in for an afternoon and evening full of good beer, good food, good conversation and amazing surroundings. We all agreed, minor adventure aside, it was an incredibly refreshing place to be.

Darkness rolled in and the temperature dropped. We sat in our leased lawn chairs around our campfire for warmth and insect repellent enjoying the last of our hopped variety pack. Soon enough we were ready to turn in. It had been a long and enjoyable day, but we were ready for a little rest.

Bzzzzzzzzzz....WACK!.......bzzzzzzzzzzz......WACK!

The sun was just barely up and we were in the midst of an obviously organized mosquito attack. They caught us off guard and we tried to fight back in our sleep induced stupor. We were no match, but we refused to let those little bastards win. After finding their entrance hatch we were able to quell the surge and gain the upper hand. With the battle under control we resided to our sleeping quarters for a little more shut eye. We'd worry about cleaning up the carnage of the battle field later.

The goal of this journey was to find the evasive Deep Woods, and if your still with me you'll have to agree we were successful. We said our goodbyes to the Deep Woods as we knew none of us would be back for a long time, if ever. We pulled the RV out onto the paved road and pointed her back to civilization. It had been a great weekend ripe with mild adventure and fantastic fellowship, but it was, unfortunately, time to get back to the real world.